Monthly Archives: August 2011

The country doctor

Dr. Pochard is a much beloved, though perhaps not respected, figure in the community. Though he isn’t known for his competence, he is known as a Dr. Feelgood. So Jenny scheduled an appointment with Dr. Pochard before her family reunion. … Continue reading

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Making sausage

My mother said my last post about selling my pet goat to buy a saddle made her sad for Dicken and Garth Brooks. “I feel weepy when I think about it. They were such sweet boys,” she said. It’s been … Continue reading

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Trade-off

I was a growing girl, and the part that was growing the fastest was my butt. Whether you consider an ample posterior a blessing or a curse, the fact was I was outgrowing the saddle I had been using for … Continue reading

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Tasty little morsels

Megan was the bus bully. You always heard her coming before you saw her. The sound of her gum popping was like the first crackle of thunder during a summer storm. Her footfall was like the running of a hundred bulls. Her … Continue reading

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Lies my mother told me

Forget candy. Forget corporal punishment. My mother had a better way to get my sisters and me to behave. She told the most horrendous stories. The Brothers Grimm had nothing on my mother. Whereas the German siblings gathered frightening tales … Continue reading

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A clean getaway

It would be wrong to say things got increasingly weird at church. It’s probably more accurate to say they were consistently weird, but that my capacity to recognize and fear that weirdness is what grew. My hippie parents took a … Continue reading

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The chicken whisperer

It took my mom a while to recognize the little man and his wife. It was the peak season at her greenhouse, and she was busy with a feeding frenzy of customers. But as their appetites for Impatiens and phlox … Continue reading

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Oops

One of the great milestones in a Bootheel baby’s life is when his or her parents hand over the keys to the riding mower and say, “OK, it’s time for you to cut the grass. Try not to lose a … Continue reading

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Giving them the boot

Second only to our first traffic light, the armadillos were the most fascinating thing to hit our county in decades. Situated within the Mark Twain National Forest we weren’t unaccustomed to wildlife, but the armadillos were exciting and new. They … Continue reading

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Death by pectin

It was a big cause for concern when word got around that a Poplar Bluff woman had died at Ryan’s. We all ate at Ryan’s. If this woman met her maker at the buffet, well, there was a good chance He’d be … Continue reading

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