Monthly Archives: September 2011

Pardon my French

Learning French in the Ozarks is a treat because the local accent adds so much to foreign languages. “Paaaaahr-laaaay vew luh frown-saaaayuhs?” But we didn’t just speak it in ways it wasn’t meant to be spoken. We heard it in … Continue reading

Posted in Country Grammar, People, School | 2 Comments

Wrapped around his finger

Abraham Holland was a weird kid. He had a Muppet-like voice that made him sound like he was always screaming. His mop of orange curls looked like someone had dumped a can of Spaghetti-Os on his head. He had a … Continue reading

Posted in People, Revenge, School | Leave a comment

A manchild, left behind

Frank Powell started sixth grade the same year Katy did. The next year, he was still in sixth grade. The following year, Annie had a few classes with him. The next year, he started sixth grade again. It’s hard to … Continue reading

Posted in People, School | 4 Comments

Trés chic

I have friends who can spot a gem in a clearance rack from a mile away. With hawk-like precision, they pluck the perfect cocktail dresses from the carrion of last season’s castoffs. But perhaps the greatest eye for beauty amidst … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Family | Leave a comment

The scent of desire

For a fashion-loving teen stuck in a sartorial wasteland, there was nothing as exciting as the day Seventeen magazine landed in the mailbox. I would pore over the slick pages, memorizing color stories and thinking of ways to reinvent my … Continue reading

Posted in People | Leave a comment

And you thought your high school mascot was weird

One day in fourth grade, my teacher decided to put away the books for an hour and give a local civics lesson. “Who is the mayor?” she asked. “Morgan’s uncle,” we answered in unison. “And who is the prosecuting attorney?” “James’ … Continue reading

Posted in People, School | 1 Comment

What’s in a name?

My sister got married in Savannah, Ga., last weekend. I spent a little time watching “Toddlers and Tiaras” in my hotel room. I’m not ashamed of myself. I like to indulge in junk food and junk TV when I’m away … Continue reading

Posted in People | Leave a comment