Monthly Archives: November 2011

Law and orthodontia

When I was growing up, everyone I knew looked alike — German-Irish kids with pinkish skin, mousey hair and big, round eyes. Most of us had only very limited encounters with people who didn’t look like us, so it was … Continue reading

Posted in Country Grammar, Family, Fighting, People, School, The South, Youth | Leave a comment

In my girlish days

It’s only 8:30 p.m. and I am exhausted. I should be getting through my students’ final project proposals, but I can’t focus. I just want to crawl into bed and stay there for a day or so. I have no … Continue reading

Posted in Regrets, School, Youth | 3 Comments

You don’t mean that, do you?

I try not to think too much about the stickers other people choose to put on their vehicles, but I always have to wonder about the “Heritage Not Hate” segment of the population. I wonder whether they are into genealogy … Continue reading

Posted in Country Grammar, People, The South | Leave a comment


My mom taught me to read when I was 5, so it makes sense that we have similar taste in literature. One of the high points of going home used to be that we could swap paperbacks, but now she … Continue reading

Posted in Family | 2 Comments

Katie Couric she ain’t

By 7th grade, it’s highly unlikely that you don’t know everything there is to know about everybody else around you. So I don’t know why Mrs. Schweine, our language arts teacher, decided to do the interview assignment, but there it … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, People, School | 2 Comments

On a happy note …

… how cute is this fat little fella?

Posted in Goats | 3 Comments

Bad to the bone

My mom and stepfather, George, received Rufus as a wedding gift. This billy goat had more pages than Tolstoy at his windiest. His sire had been Ennobled by the American Boer Goat Association, meaning he conformed to the physical standards … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Goats, Revenge | 4 Comments

I invented Post-its

My 10-year high school reunion is coming up next summer. Already, former classmates are making plans for the big day — heck, the big weekend — on Facebook. The sentimental part in my brain is sending out mushy “I can’t … Continue reading

Posted in People, Revenge, School, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

A post from my 14-year-old self

Does this sign look like saggy boobs to anybody else?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

True blue

There’s a lot you can say about my sister, Annie. Some of it’s good, some of it’s bad. But I think the most striking thing about her is that she is the most loyal friend anyone could ask for. Annie … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Gastronomy, People | 1 Comment