Category Archives: City Living

Repeat business

Today I met my attorney for lunch so I could pay him the rest of what I owed him for making me a free woman. “Oh, shoot, I forgot to bring you your gift certificate,” he said as I handed … Continue reading

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A message from my mother

“Somebody is getting a new ukulele delivered to her office tomorrow.” Note: That somebody is me. I am so excited. My co-workers are not.

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Boyfriend says

“You. You! I have a bone to pick with you. Last night there was some noise in another part of the house. You got up to check it out. That was very manly of you. I appreciate that. But then you … Continue reading

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A conversation with a friend

“I have to go find hot people soon.” “Like sexy people?” “Like sweaty people. There are no sexy people in Decatur.”

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A conversation with my roommate

“That shooting that happened this morning? One of my friends lives two doors down.” “Did she witness this?” “No, thank god. She slept through it.” “Yeesh. What is wrong with Columbia?” “I don’t know, but I don’t like it. We’re … Continue reading

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A conversation with my roommate

“Oh! So the futon made it safely to Andrew’s garage. It’s going to be a pain in the ass to put back together though. Just a heads up.” “In what way? “I suppose that’s a little dramatic. It probably won’t … Continue reading

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A conversation with my grandmother

“Are you riding your bicycle today?” “Yep.” “In this heat?” “Gas is up again and I refuse to pay for it.” “Well, I hope you don’t turn into a puddle of oil. That’s melted fat, you know.” “Oh.” “You’d probably turn … Continue reading

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Why they don’t let me out of the house

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My most expensive piece of jewelry

Our HR manager just announced 401K training sessions over the intercom. “Come learn what’s available to you,” she said. I’ve been contributing to my 401K for several years now. I get regular statements with colorful graphs showing me how much … Continue reading

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Coffee cup wisdom

Posted in City Living, Gastronomy, Humor, Words, Work | 1 Comment