Category Archives: Dogs

A post from my mother

Dear Farm Dogs: I appreciate you slaying the armadillo. You did an awesome job digging up the drain where he must have been hiding. Next time, please take the carcass away from the pump house and put the dirt and … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Dogs, Family, Fighting, Humor, The South, Wildlife | Leave a comment

Law & Order

The following are excerpts, taken verbatim, from the Ripley County Sheriff’s Report and Doniphan Police Report, published in the April 11, 2012 issue of The Prospect-News. On April 2 a deputy was dispatched to Southeast Health Center of Ripley County … Continue reading

Posted in Country Grammar, Dogs, Fashion, Fighting, Humor, Newspapers, People, Regrets, The South, Words | 2 Comments


Easter was always a stressful time for kids on the farm. Imagine, if you will, lying in bed on Easter eve wondering whether the Easter bunny will make it safely to your house. Your immediate concern isn’t that he will … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Dogs, Dreams, Family, Gastronomy, Humor, People, The South, Wildlife, Youth | 1 Comment

Oh, bloody hell

Thursday was trash day. My sisters and I were responsible for gathering all the trash in the house, consolidating it into big, black bags, driving it a quarter mile to the top of our gravel road and dropping it off … Continue reading

Posted in Dogs, Family, Humor, Regrets, Youth | 1 Comment

Good neighbors

At 100,000 people and growing, Columbia is 50 times the size of my hometown. As you can imagine, moving here was quite an adjustment for me. The sheer number of bodies in public spaces such as university lecture halls or … Continue reading

Posted in City Living, Country Grammar, De La Maison, Dogs, Family, Fighting, Humor, People, Regrets, The South, Uncategorized, Youth | 1 Comment

A conversation with my mother

“So,¬†Weasel woke me while I was dreaming that Jessica Simpson and I were BFFs. We were discussing names for her upcoming baby. She said they were going to name her Lady Petunia. I told her it was a great idea, … Continue reading

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Almost famous

My dog Prozac is a little like Harry Potter in that he inspires others to write fan fic. Or something like that. Thanks, William Lawson. Good stuff.

Posted in Animals, Dogs, Humor | 2 Comments


By the way, this is Radar. He is a chiweenie. He’s also an utter asshole. Isn’t he the weirdest looking thing you’ve ever seen?

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A conversation with my mother

Sometimes dogs are stupid. “I couldn’t eat even half of my usual breakfast burrito today, so I put it down for Radar and he scarfed it up. Then got a bit of melted-cheesy tortilla stuck to his toes. He could … Continue reading

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Season’s greetings

Nothing says holiday cheer quite like pulling strands of tinsel out of a dog’s butt.

Posted in Animals, Dogs, Humor | 4 Comments