Category Archives: Family

A voice message from my mother

“Hello, Carrie, it’s 7:40 and I am leaving the grocery store. I have bought the traditional Prairie Farms eggnog, so I want you to know this weekend is not just about Chex Mix.”

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A message from my mother

I have decided not to go back on Standard Time. I’m going to live my life on permanent Daylight Saving Time.

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A phone call from my mother

Why don’t you come visit your mama? I just bought a big jar of Peter Pan peanut butter.

Posted in Family, Gastronomy | 2 Comments

Deterrent

Let there be no doubt that our mother could spank a child with such strength and sting it’d be a while before you felt OK about sitting again. But usually, when my sisters and I were overly rowdy/sullen/disagreeable she made … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Fashion, Fighting, Humor, Phonics, Regrets, The South, Youth | 1 Comment

The origin of species

Every family has its own mythology. Sometimes these stories are a way to restore order to the world when there’s evidence of things that aren’t quite right. Sometimes these stories are a way to inspire obedience. Sometimes these stories are … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Family, Humor, People, The South, Wildlife, Youth | 2 Comments

A conversation with my grandmother

“Are you riding your bicycle today?” “Yep.” “In this heat?” “Gas is up again and I┬árefuse to pay for it.” “Well, I hope you don’t turn into a puddle of oil. That’s melted fat, you know.” “Oh.” “You’d probably turn … Continue reading

Posted in Bicycles, City Living, Family, Humor, Travel, Vegetarianism | Leave a comment

A text message from my sister

“A little sunshine: Some guy at” the gym “just asked me what I compete in and I said, ‘Oh, I’m a nudist’ and left straight-faced. Annie wins.”

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