Category Archives: Humor

A warm welcome

It’s not that he was bitter. Not like her.  Not that she had good reason to be. She had the affair. She moved out. She married his best friend. But, of course, word got around. He knew the things she was … Continue reading

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A Mother’s Day Post

My mother was not like the other mothers. The others always appeared at school functions clad in jewel-tone wind suits or high-waisted, taper-legged jeans designed to broadcast their devotion to Diet Coke and rice cakes. The hair at the crowns … Continue reading

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The most important meal of the day

As a conductor for the Union Pacific Railroad, my father had a somewhat unpredictable schedule. Sometimes his work took him north to St. Louis or Chicago. Other times it took him south to Memphis or Little Rock. Sometimes he’d be … Continue reading

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The St. Louis Cousins’ last ride

It was always an exciting time for my sisters and me when our St. Louis Cousins came to visit. For though we were the country mice to their city mice, they were savage in a way we admired but could … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Country Grammar, Family, Fashion, Fighting, Horses, Humor, Mules, People, Regrets, Revenge, The South, Youth | 1 Comment

Flight of the grudge mule

Our mother had purchased the mule as a sort of fuck-you to our father. She and our next-door neighbor, Cindy, liked to go to the sale barn every Monday night to get away from kids and husbands for a few … Continue reading

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A conversation with my sister

“What did you get Mom for Mother’s Day?” “Some wine glasses.” “OK, good.” “Why? What did you get her?” “Well, I asked her what she wanted. She said she liked those $8 t-shirts from Target. That didn’t seem very special, … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Fashion, Humor, People | 3 Comments

Tell me how you really feel, Siri

My mom recently made the leap from dumbphone to iPhone. One of her favorite things about it is her dictation app because she can walk around her greenhouse and make verbal notes on which plants she needs to restock, which … Continue reading

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A conversation with my sister

“Well, I’m glad to see he’s out of prison already.” “He was in prison?” “Yeah.” “What for? Meth?” “No.” “Child abuse?” “No.” “Child molestation?” “No.” “Then what?” “He set a latrine on fire on federal property.” “Oh.”

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Repeat business

Today I met my attorney for lunch so I could pay him the rest of what I owed him for making me a free woman. “Oh, shoot, I forgot to bring you your gift certificate,” he said as I handed … Continue reading

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A message from my mother

“Somebody is getting a new ukulele delivered to her office tomorrow.” Note: That somebody is me. I am so excited. My co-workers are not.

Posted in City Living, Family, Humor, Music, Work | Leave a comment